Have you been naughty or nice?

· Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot

· Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

· Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies

· Bad girls know they could do it better

· Good girls wear white cotton panties

· Bad girls don't wear any

· Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls

· Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls

· Good girls pack their toothbrush

· Bad girls pack their diaphragms

· Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it

· Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it

· Good girls wear high heels to work

· Bad girls wear high heels to bed

· Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance

· Bad girls think no place is the wrong place

· Good girls say no

· Bad girls say when?

· Good girls go to the party, go home, then go to bed

· Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and then go home

· Good Girls Go to Heaven

· Bad Girls Go Everywhere

Now I’m sure deep, deep, deep inside…Santa’s hoping you were naughty J

Merry X’Mas

To be or not to be

First impressions always count whether you are on a date, to get that job, meeting your future in laws, meeting his friends, applying for a bank loan etc. Yes! First impressions count and you can forget the I-expect-them-to-accept-me-for-who-I-am belief.

I for one am a girl who believes in comfort. Give me a pair of sneakers and jeans and I could go for any occasions with it. Have you ever realised how uncomfortable women’s clothes are? You have to be careful when wearing a short skirt, you don’t want to catch a draft when bending over or crossing your legs. What about plunging or wide necklines, you move a little forward and the one in front of you gets a full display of today’s bra and not forgetting the agonizing 5 inch heels that kills your feet and your back. Heck! the only 5 inches I want is not on my feet but in my sheets

Back to first impressions, so if you want that high end job or meeting your in-laws, you can’t get away with an orange coloured Adidas sneakers and a cool t-shirt that says slacker on it. No, because as much as people claim you should be true to yourself, not many of us can get away with being true to ourselves.

As a woman and especially as a woman, we always have to watch what we say, be careful when we eat, how we sit and have proper manners all the time. I just look forward to the time I can just stretch my legs, kick off those heels and throw out the please, excuse me’s and thank you’s and cuss anywhere and anytime I like.

So when can we get to be who we are? In the comfort of our own personal time and with a woman’s schedule, yeah …you can only pray you have 36 hours in a day.

What he’d say to get laid

How low would he sink? Apparently quite low

· Men: I’ve heard sex is a killer. Wanna die happy?

· What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.

· Are you an overdue book? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you!

· Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.

· Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you’ve got the nicest set of buns I've ever seen

· Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can definitely see myself in your pants

· Sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up

· Did you fart? Because you just blew me away!

· Do you work for UPS? Because I swear I saw you checking out my package.

· "Hey do you have any Irish in you?" "You want some?"

· "Are your parents from Iraq? Because I think you're the bomb!"

· If you were a booger, I'd pick you first

· How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll put my head in

· Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?

· I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle

· You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20

Men with estrogens

Ever dated a man who was way more emotional than you were? He was the co-dependent, clingy, needy and insecure one? He was the one who needed assurance from you and that you’ll never walk away.

Men will never admit they are emotional. You see being emotional can be in so many levels and not just crying to a sad movie.

Here are some pointers that you could or have dated an emo-sapien:

He feels neglected when you are out with your friends and you did not invite him

He’s sensitive to everything you say and oblivious to everything he says

He instantly wants to be open about the relationship and is upset if you need time

He wants to hang out with the gang all the time so that he could constantly be with you When there is a fight, you have to be the one calling and consoling him

You always need to understand where he is coming from

He’s always the victim The term ‘personal space’ has no meaning to him

You have to be the strong one for him every time shit happens

He keeps calling and calling and calling if you don’t pick up

He sends you lengthy messages on the phone about how he feels

He keeps holding your hands even at a friend’s place during a game of monopoly

Emo is men’s taboo word, call them that and they become instantly over sensitive and terribly defensive.

I admit I would like a sensitive man but someone who’s able to understand my temperaments and my feelings just as how I would his…. period. I don’t want to be caught in an emotional web where everything is about his feelings, his needs and his wants.

My man has to be a man, to be the one for me when I fall, to be my pillar of strength and most importantly to allow me to be the woman in the relationship.

Lingerie defines a woman

A woman in lingerie is a woman at her sexiest and most in control. Knowing what you are wearing inside hidden from the outside world gives you a sense of empowerment which only women can relate too. Lingerie is a powerful aphrodisiac, strut one in the bedroom with high stilettos and you can have your man eating out of your hand.

Lingerie is personal and extremely seductive. Put one on and you would be staring at yourself in the mirror for a long time because lingerie oozes your sex appeal. You not only look sexy, you feel sexy and you become sexy

Wearing a corset with a garter belt and the whole paraphernalia that comes with it and watch yourself transform into an irresistible nymph

So what kind of a lingerie person are you? The long, shapeless one that also works as Xanax and puts your partner on a snooze mode?

Or the smoldering hot one that causes smoke alarms to set off

Remember the rule of thumb to wearing lingerie is ‘not everything less is more’. In your attempt to look like a seductive temptress, you don’t want to appear looking like a back alley whore. Don’t bare all, there should be some left for the imagination well before he claws his way through.

If it’s the same mirror, why do we look at ourselves differently?

Self-esteem is a personal validation of oneself and your value as a person; body image is how someone feels about his or her own physical appearance which is I belief has a correlation.

Women are on a constant weight loss battle to look good for their fat, bald ugly men. Have you seen a guy shed 5 kilos or get on a treadmill so that he doesn’t lose his girlfriend? Ok so maybe there are some but I’m pretty sure very remote.

I dated a guy who did not have a great complexion, who lost all his hair and would look at himself in the mirror and tell me he’s so good looking. I too saw myself in that same mirror but all I saw was a bulging tummy, dark circles under my eyes and to my horror spotted some white hair.

So why is it that we can never see ourselves looking and feeling great? Apparently up to 8 out of 10 women will be dissatisfied with their reflection, and more than half may see a distorted image.

Men on the other hand look into the mirror and are more likely to be either pleased with what they see or indifferent. Research shows that men generally have a much more positive body-image than women – if anything, they may tend to over-estimate their attractiveness. Some men looking in the mirror may literally not see the flaws in their appearance – Yes, I’m sure we didn’t need a research to point that out, do we?

What happens when a woman or a man gains weight? The first person to notice that would be our moms – Judge Dredd. Worse if you are single, she will tell you lose weight or stay single for the rest of your life…ok that’s not such a horrible thought after all

What happens when a man gains weight? Nothing, no one even notices or if they do, they crack bad jokes like dude, you still seeing your balls down there?

Tabloid magazines would feature a picture of Victoria Beckham and zero in on her skinny thighs and magnify it to show an insignificant sight of her cellulite. Do you see them doing the same to Russell Crow or Val Kilmer? No these fat asses get away with once again some bad jokes.

Its women who gets hit the most and it has been estimated that young women now see more images of outstandingly beautiful women in one day than our mothers saw throughout their entire adolescence.

I want to have a normal name

Hollywood celebrities are on a race to compete for the weirdest names for their babies. My heart goes out for these kids whom I reckon will be hounded for the rest of their lives thanks to their brainless parents. Let’s take a look at the tragic names these parents thought off while downing whiskey

Bronx Mowgli is the son of Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz. Rob Morrow decided to name his child Tu Morrow. Wouldn’t it be easier if it was just To Morrow? At least we wouldn’t have to worry about getting the spelling right.

Jason Lee the weirdo from My Name is Earl, named his kid Pilot Inspektor, its no wonder Season 4 got cancelled. Must be due to creative differences.

Spice Girl, Geri Halliwell pushed it a notch by naming her daughter Bluebell Madonna. Well at least, Bluebell will never have to worry about having a stage name should she become an artist.

Actor Dan Cortese jumped into the bandwagon of hollyweirdo by naming his kid Tabooger, which sounds like something Boeing would name their airplanes.

If the name 50 cent isn’t bad enough, he named his son Bow-Ty, I was surprised, didn’t the son at least deserve ‘A Dollar’?

Given the good movies both Demi Moore and Bruce Willis have done, I must say I’m sorely disappointed to the names they gave their kids - Rumer, Scout and Tallulah. Really! What were they thinking?

Vanilla Ice named his daughter Dusti Rain, which I think was named after a stripper in some sleazy joint called Tities for Dummies. KeeLee Breeze has named her son, Audio Science Clayton, I’m guessing her following children would be Sight History Clayton and Smell Geography Clayton

Is it too much to name your kid Amy, John or Rebecca? I foresee the gloomy future these kids would have being taunted in school and at work. I mean would you hire a lawyer named Pilot Inspektor? Its not cool ladies and gentleman.

If your kids ever starts popping pills at the age of 6 its all your fault!!