Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Have you been naughty or nice?

· Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot

· Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

· Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies

· Bad girls know they could do it better

· Good girls wear white cotton panties

· Bad girls don't wear any

· Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls

· Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls

· Good girls pack their toothbrush

· Bad girls pack their diaphragms

· Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it

· Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it

· Good girls wear high heels to work

· Bad girls wear high heels to bed

· Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance

· Bad girls think no place is the wrong place

· Good girls say no

· Bad girls say when?

· Good girls go to the party, go home, then go to bed

· Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and then go home

· Good Girls Go to Heaven

· Bad Girls Go Everywhere

Now I’m sure deep, deep, deep inside…Santa’s hoping you were naughty J

Merry X’Mas

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

To be or not to be

First impressions always count whether you are on a date, to get that job, meeting your future in laws, meeting his friends, applying for a bank loan etc. Yes! First impressions count and you can forget the I-expect-them-to-accept-me-for-who-I-am belief.

I for one am a girl who believes in comfort. Give me a pair of sneakers and jeans and I could go for any occasions with it. Have you ever realised how uncomfortable women’s clothes are? You have to be careful when wearing a short skirt, you don’t want to catch a draft when bending over or crossing your legs. What about plunging or wide necklines, you move a little forward and the one in front of you gets a full display of today’s bra and not forgetting the agonizing 5 inch heels that kills your feet and your back. Heck! the only 5 inches I want is not on my feet but in my sheets

Back to first impressions, so if you want that high end job or meeting your in-laws, you can’t get away with an orange coloured Adidas sneakers and a cool t-shirt that says slacker on it. No, because as much as people claim you should be true to yourself, not many of us can get away with being true to ourselves.

As a woman and especially as a woman, we always have to watch what we say, be careful when we eat, how we sit and have proper manners all the time. I just look forward to the time I can just stretch my legs, kick off those heels and throw out the please, excuse me’s and thank you’s and cuss anywhere and anytime I like.

So when can we get to be who we are? In the comfort of our own personal time and with a woman’s schedule, yeah …you can only pray you have 36 hours in a day.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What he’d say to get laid

How low would he sink? Apparently quite low

· Men: I’ve heard sex is a killer. Wanna die happy?

· What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper.

· Are you an overdue book? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you!

· Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.

· Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you’ve got the nicest set of buns I've ever seen

· Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can definitely see myself in your pants

· Sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up

· Did you fart? Because you just blew me away!

· Do you work for UPS? Because I swear I saw you checking out my package.

· "Hey do you have any Irish in you?" "You want some?"

· "Are your parents from Iraq? Because I think you're the bomb!"

· If you were a booger, I'd pick you first

· How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll put my head in

· Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?

· I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle

· You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20