Monday, March 15, 2010

Those nasty PMSes

The most inconvenient thing to hit a woman every month is her menstruation. Yes, the dreaded monthly cycle which keeps us heading to the ladies every 4 hours for a change of pad. Back in the school days, leakages were common, we had to always look behind our pinafore skirts or get a friend to check for us. When the pipe bursts and gets all over your skirt, you run as fast as you can to wash your pinafore, those were the worst times. It was every school girl’s nightmare.

Not to forget those nasty PMS syndromes. How do you explain the crazy things that hit you – the acne, the crankiness, the unappeased appetite, the bloated body, the never ending crying, the bad mood swings, the migraines and the excruciating cramps where you feel like your intestines are being twisted and pulled on both ends. Who can blame us for turning into nasty bitches when we have our periods?

The irony of having your flow, is that as much as you hate having it, the moment you don’t you know you are fucked…..literally!

For younger women, feelings of exasperation will hit us and we count back the last time we engaged in some doggy style and for the older women, the dreaded menopause has hit them. I guess you can’t live with them and you can’t live without them.

Its funny, back then if flow was in town, your lifestyle would be impeded; we were unable to go for a swim or get to the third base but voila all that has turned around now. Yes, nowadays if you plan to go swimming, you don’t have to worry about the pool turning red. Tampon solves that for you and I shall not go into details on the application side.

Now, let’s get to the saucier part, my housemate an ex journalist came home one day exclaiming that having sex while you are bleeding is no longer a problem! The answer – Softcup!

Yes, its basically a cup that you push right through your ahem. It holds twice as much fluid as a tampon and you can use one cup for the whole day and get this ladies and gentleman, you can use it during sex!

This is great news to all horny people out there, you can have sex anytime you want, you never have to worry about dirty sheets plus your partner is not able to feel it inside of you while he’s humping you to the ground.
Now my only question, would having an orgasm be an issue for the ladies?